for those of you still out there, I'm writing from the diversified corners of this sleepless city, Los Angeles. A city breeding with busy bodies, rampant liers, angered drivers, and actors that never seem to give enough of themselves. when I was told that the city had a life of it's own, I originally didn't believe it.
It has been 6 months of struggle, 6 months of misunderstandings, 6 months of diving into the depths of my brain, into the depths of my soul, but mainly, into prayer, seeking desperately for the Lord's will in my life... because I have honestly not a care in the world as to what my desires are in this world.
I have but one desire, to know Christ.
But too often my one desire to know Christ butts heads with one of my biggest fallbacks - approval of man. I've never been one to fall into peer pressure, I've never struggled with many things that some that I know fall to based on sheer desire to be popular. But the thing that haunts me every day, is the frightening thought that the path that I am choosing is more influenced by the world's desire for my life, than Gods.
What a tremendously horrifying concept. What if I am walking comfortably into the grave, instead of fighting bravely for the One who gave His all for me. I have got to stop basing success upon if those around me agree with what I have done. If my one desire is Him, then He is all that should matter, no?
This crazy city has taught me one of the most important life lessons...
That if you don't prioritize God, no one else is going to for you.
Such a simple concept that I am sure is humorous to you. But a minute, an hour, and a day pass by in the blink of an eye, and at the end of your life, it was only YOU who chose how to spend your time. What a struggle, continually trying to see myself as seated in the heavenlies alongside the Father. This city is so good at making so many things seem so important.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
Wherever you are, examine your situation... because it took me 6 months to figure out that I was truly trying to keep up with a pack that I was never meant to run with in the first place. I'm not meant to be a workaholic. I'm not meant for the paycheck at the end of the week. I'm not meant for the relationships I make and how they can benefit me. I'm not meant to know everything. I'm not meant to make everyone happy.
I am meant for ONE. SINGLE. PURPOSE.
To live for HIM. For it is no longer I that live, but HE THAT LIVE THROUGH ME!
How freeing. How beautiful. My purpose here was fulfilled the moment Christ died on the cross. I have nothing more of this world to defeat, to accomplish, to take down. I am free of expectation, free from guilt, free to live and breath the same Spirit into this world that Christ breathed into me.
That is what I am meant for.
And in that I find my identity. I find my identity. I find my identity. WHAT A GIFT! Do you know how many people walk around confused about who they are?
I just watched 30 film students declare their identity-crisis that they are going through. But to know who you are, what a gift no.
Every morning, I can claim Christ. Every morning, I can have reason behind EVERY SINGLE THING that I do. I can have purpose. I am so happy for what Christ has done for us, and so excited to learn even that much more.
In end, I ask you to pray for me, as I pray for you. That the deceitful ways of this world would be held back. That we would not be tricked into chasing for years after things that do not matter. That we would not waste another tear over loneliness, over not knowing who you are.
If you are a child of God, YOU have an identity. Now, in everything you do, go out and claim that. Claim your freedom, because that is exactly what you are... free.
Thank you Lord.