Tuesday, July 26, 2011

almost done...

the packing process is nearing the end... I have summed up my life into 1 single suitcase and a carry-on:-0 who would have ever thought I could do that? Not me. :-)

Said goodbye to my extended family yesterday, as well as the famous Grandma Starr. I was okay up until the point where I had to say goodbye to her. You know, my grandpa died two years ago. It was a horrific experience for my grandma and still continues to haunt her. Somehow, within the mess of her grieving process, we became a lot closer. I definitely don't take even half of the credit (or a fourth) for helping my grandma through her grief... but I do feel like ever since my grandpa died, part of her has latched onto me. I look up to her, but at the same time I feel she looks up to me.

That maybe I'm not there in the physical for her all the time, but that I am always there praying for her and thinking about her. She always knows that I will Always give her a kiss on the cheek when I say goodbye. She always knows that I will open her door for her, and bring her bread or flowers when I visit. She always knows that I will say "je t'aime" (in french) like she heard when she was a little girl. So in a way, I may not be her whole life, but I am a constant. As she is for me.

And of course, yesterday that came to reality. Through tears... So basically, I couldn't be any sadder. Any happier. Any more excited. Any more nervous. Any more scared. Any more absolutely sure of what I am about to embark on than I am right now. It's a wheel of emotions that probably won't stop until I am back sitting on the floor in my living room next year, writing a blog about it all.

So there are two days until we take off. I want to thank you all for whatever way you have been a constant in my life. I want to appreciate you now for somewhat letting me be a constant in yours. And I hope that together, through this year, we can constantly learn to lean on God. Because of course, if He can get us through packing our entire life into 1 suitcase, I'm sure He can get us through this;-)



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